The · Rantings · of · a · Phantom

Hey guys! Remember this gem? http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3137161/5/ Well it's been updated! And I'm here to wank the hell out of it! Not a child friendly wank!

( Read more... )

Hey guys! This is my second wank. Hopefully I figured out how to do this behind a cut! This story is just so wankable. Here's the link to the original: http://www.phantomoftheopera.com/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=10581&forum=16

People were screaming and running like caged rats about to fall overboard in a stormy sea Rats know when they're about to fall overboard? Where are we anyway? Are we on the Titanic?. The giant tinkling It doesn't just give light, it tinkles! crystal chandelier had broken freeI thought it was cut down by Erik...wait this is badfic...it just randomly fell. It was descending at a rapid rateIt didn't fall...it was descending. Some people were too scared to move and were flattened by the massive piece of crystal that fell from the ceiling of the Opera Populaire~.LOL! I believe there was only one person killed and it was the woman who replaced Madame Giry! Leroux people! And grammar is your friend. Others were trampled to death as the crowd ran this way and that, trying to desperately avoid the flames that now devoured everything in sightAh! So now in addition to a crashing candelier we also have a fire that is consuming everything in its path! Ah!.

The orchestra pit was completely demolishedReally? I thought it just fell on the stalls...damn Erik for having lousy aim. Broken instruments and sheet music lay all around. The conductor had barely been able to get his musicians out before the chandelier crashed into the pitLOL! So he knew the chandelier was going to fall? I'd love to see that...Photo manip please! Reyer yelling: Get out the chandelier is going to fall!. The fake flames on the stage of Don Juan Triumphant were now replaced with fingers of real firefire now has fingers!. Most of the actors on stage were burnt, but would survive. wanked itself

Poor Piangi was found punjabbed behind the stage by Carlotta, his lover. She cradled his head in her hands and cried real tears as opposed to fake tearsfor the man that she had secretly loved for the past ten yearsif they were lovers, how would their love be a secret?. She lifted her hands toward Heaven and (swore that nigh)t that she would have vergencenot vengence...she swore she would have crossed eyes...the Phantom of the Opera would pay for what he had done to her. Not to Piangi but to her.

As the flames grew closer to herwait where is she?, she tried to drag, the now stiffdamn rigor mortis sets in quickly, Piangi to the outside. But alas, he weighed no less dead than he did alive,obviously! Just because he's dead doesn't mean his corpse went on Atkins. "Did you really 'ave to eat all those croissants and 'am?" Wait, Carlotta turned Cockney? 'Ow's it goin' gov? she thought as she strained to move him.Actors and ballet girls were running past her, some of their costumes were smokingso they didn't practice stop drop and roll? Damn did any of them have pre-k? from the fire. None, however stopped to help her. They're burning to death apparently and yet no one would help poor Carlotta (who is a bit occ mostly because she's self centered)! How cruel people are!The Diva's cries went unanswered.

As the flames caught Piangi's stage slippers on fireThe on fire isn't necessary...and guess what? The fire is still being described!, Carlotta knew she had to leave him. She kissed his cold dead lips for the last time and closed his eyes. The smell of his burning flesh was more than she could take, so in tears,comma splice she fled the burning Opera House.

Ouch! What was the crash? The violent changing of POV'sRaoul and Christine were floating in the Phantom's gondola. Sparks had started to rain, like fallen stars from Heaven, from the ceiling above. wanked itself! And just for the record the fire is already being felt five floors below the stageChristine stared back at the Phantom. He carressed his lips with his fingers, as if trying to rememberwhy he was in this badfic in the first place. the kiss: the kiss that changed his mind about killing Raoul, the kiss that enabled him to release Christine. His eyes were so full of sorrow, so full of torment, so full of pain. so full of hatred for his non canonical self

She tried to mouth the words, "Go, leave this place, save yourself, ...My Angel of Music." WANKED ITSELF!But he only looked at her, as if trying to make this moment his last memory. He just stared at her, as if he couldn't believe that she was really leaving him.He just let her go. Obviously she's leaving. He no longer had any reason to live. In fact, he welcomed Death like an old friend.Hasn't he always? Maybe, once and for all, this pain would finally end.wangst!

He picked up a brass candlestick, broke an antique mirror, walked through the opening, and promptly disappeared. wtf? Why couldn't he just press a button? He needed to break glass in his own lair?He was so blinded by tears that he fell into a trap that he had set for uninvited guests.LOL! WTF? Erik doesn't know where he set his own traps? Luckily, he knew how to release the mechanismobviously and escaped at the last moment before the razor-sharp spikes came crashing down upon him.what a relief. I almost thought this fic would be over

Damn! These abrupt POV changes have to stop. I'm getting whiplash!Meg and the murderous townspeopleThey're no longer an angry mob! They're townspeople coming after Franenstein's monster had arrived at his hidden lair. They didn't find it. They arrived because they were invited.Meg picked up his mask, gently carressed it, looked about the chamber and was horrified to find him gone.I would think she'd be happy considering he's a murderer and all. Wait, that canon this is badfic! The whole ceiling looked as if it could fall at any second. She took the mask and ordered the others to leave, lest they go up in flames. But she stayed below to wangst over her secret love of the badly sunburnt phantom

A few men, who valued treasure more than their lives, lingered behind. One of them even ventured into the mirror. Unfortunately for him, the Phantom did not want to be found.WTF? Obviously! Around the corner, the man met a set of yellow eyes.Hello yellow eyes. How are you? I'm doing fine thanks. Before he could utter a scream, he was dead before he hit the ground.What? He was dead before he hit the ground and before he uttered a scream? Did that make any sense to you? Erik quickly changed clothes with the man. Hey these clothes on this corpse look quite comfy. Perhaps I'll steal themThe Don Juan costume fit the dead man perfectly.I didn't see that coming Fully dressed, Erik pulled the man's ragged cap down over his eyes and ran past the other two and up the steps to escape the burning theatre.if he wanted to die then why the hell is he so intent on escaping?

The theatre had become a literall Hellnot a literal hell a LITERALL hell! Whatever that is, incarnate...no need for the elipseseverywhere Erik looked, flames danced and licked at him and the other two menwhat other two men? I thought Erik was alone!. The air was so hot that it scorched his throat to breathe. The other two men had collapsed from the heat. But super GErik! didn't!

Suddenly, a massive oak beam from the ceiling fell and pinned Erik to the floor.Wanked itself He lay there bleedingbecause it must've punctured something, the very last breath being crushed out of him by the massive weight of the beam. The flames engulfed and consumed the other two men, their burning flesh left a sickening smell and their screams echoed throughout the decimated theatre.wait, if they can't breath they obviously can't scream!

"So this is how it ends, " he thought to himself. As he breathed out his last breath, he softly sang, "It's over now...the...music of....the night."*sob* He closed his yellow eyes, as he felt the flames start to carress his face.caress! But wait! They didn't burn him they just caressed him

Well, dear friends and loyal readers, what do you think? I think this is a load of badfic crap! Poor Erik being stuck in itWhat shall happen to Erik...is it truly over?Ten bucks says it isn't Will Carlotta get the revenge that she lusts for? MaybeWill Christine ever be able to live with the choice she has made? Yes! She's with a safe, rich man who lovs her.Only time will tell.

Your humble servant, not an author, a humble servent

charmingly bad

Another rant! What is up with making all of these Broadway musicals into movies? Hasn't anyone heard of actually going to the theatre?! And please don't give me the bullshit about keeping the show for prosperity! If that was the case, you would use the ORIGINAL CAST and NOT CHANGE A THING! Not add sword fights where they don't belong (Phantom) or cut songs (Producers) or cut entire scenes (RENT). Okay...Cinema and Theatre at TWO DIFFERENT MEDIUMS! PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE KEEP THEM THAT WAY! There is NO reason for them to overlap.
As for RENT...EMOTIONAL IS A GOOD THING! That's the crux of the story! Hello! EVERYONE IS DYING OF AIDS! It's bound fo have some emotion. They're not going to all sing 'yay! my best friend is dying his immune system is breaking down! Life is good!' Saddness is part of it as is grief. And Colombus don't give me that shit that cinema audiences aren't prepared for emotion. THEN DON'T MAKE MUSICALS into MOVIES!
Okay and for the record, JOHN TRAVOLTA DOES NOT BELONG IN HAIRSPRAY in ANY CAPACITY! What is wrong with the world? Does anyone care what becomes of our Broadway?
Johnny Depp and Tim Burton doing Sondheim's Sweeney Todd? Are these people on drugs?! Oh joy I'll be able to buy Sweeney merchandise at Hot Topic! Joy of Joys! I'm so excited. If they put a sword fight in Phantom what the hell will they do to Sweeney?! I'm afraid world, I'm very afraid.
Oh and these jukebox musicals HAVE TO STOP! THEATRE is original! There should be original shows with originals scores. I don't want an NSYNC or Backstreet Boys musical thank you very much. Abba, Billy Joel, EVERYTHING like that has to stop! Whatever happened to composers? I miss the days of Learner and Lowe, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Sondheim, Larson anyone who could actually come up with original music!
Is there anything so wrong with wanting to preserve the theatre culture? Why must we continue to bastardize it in this fashion? Give new playwrights and composers a chance people. Leave movies to screenwriters and leave plays and musicals to playwrights and composers. Thank you!

Okay I was talking to one of my friends. And we both came to the conclusion. WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ALL OF THESE PHANGIRLS?! Ugh! OMG GERRY IS SO
HAWT!!!111!!! And Michael Crawford sux!11!11!!!!! And so does Sara Brightman!1
caues Emmy is the bestest!111!11!!! And Roule is such a fop OMGZ!11!!111
Okay...first of ENOUGH! Okay, granted everyone is not a fan of Michael Crawford. I can accept that. Everyone has different musical tastes. Frankly I also like Hugh Panora, Howard McGillian, Brad Little and Marc Jacoby as Phantoms as well. But to me, Michael Crawford is THE Phantom. Now, I'm sick of continually having to defend Mr. Crawford on these Phantom message boards. First of all, have a valid reason why you do not like him. Saying he sux!1!1! is not a valid reason. If you don't like his voice, say why. Saying he's not Gerry is also not a valid answer.
Second, I'm tired of phan girls saying Michael Crawford is too old to play the Phantom or as they like to call him: Eric, Erique, Ericc, Eriquee and any other fucked up bastardized version of the name. Or even worse, just calling him Phantom or Angel. Please pick up a copy of Leroux. First you will find that the Phantom's name is Erik. It's spelt with a 'K' not with anything else. If you proceed to actually READ the original book, you will learn that Erik is in his sixties. Now, I know that prospect is shocking and appalling to some phangirls. But it's true. Hence why Christine gets him confused with her father. So, Michael Crawford not only has the vocal and acting ability to play Erik, but he is also the correct age.
Next, Erik is deformed. I am sick of these phan girls saying how sexy and hot The Phantom and Gerry are. Okay. Gerard Butler is a very hot man. I'm not denying that. But I AM denying that he is supposed to be sexy as Erik! He's not! Once again please read Leroux. Erik is described as looking like a corpse and stinking of death. His entire face is deformed severly. Unlike Mr. Butler's who appears to have sun posioning or a bad case of acne. AND Erik DOES NOT WEAR A WHITE MASK ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HIS FACE! He wears a black mask that covers his ENTIRE face. The white mask came from Andrew Lloyd Webber because it was impossible for Michael Crawford (the original Phantom, not Gerard Butler) to sing with a mask covering his entire face. Attention all phan phiction writers, please use Leroux when writing about Eirk. Oh, and Erik has yellow eyes, not green/blue. Gerry's eyes are green/blue. NOT Erik's. And on a side note, Erik is slightly obessive and psychotic. He tried to manipulate Christine. He is not Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. I'm-just-so-misunderstood. The man has serious psychological issues. Christine's love cannot make it all better. HE HAS BEEN SCARRED for life! He has killed for God's sake. I highly doubt Christine would have a very stable and happy relationship with him! Phan authors, take that into account please and spare us from that horrible E/C fluff which can never be and those badly written sex scenes. Keep them between RAOUL and Christine.
Moving onto Christine. She has actual emotion! Granted she may be naivee but she's not stupid. She doesn't just stand around and look at Erik and Raoul like they're from another planet. AND she did make the right choice. Christine, if she stayed with Erik, would have been subject to a live of darkness with an insane, obsessed sixty something year old who has murdered. There is not doubt that Erik loved Christine, but they wouldn't have been all happy and lovey together. First of all, Erik doesn't know how to be tender! And Christine won't know how to show him. So basically, Christine makes the right choice! Think about it! Go with safe, loving Raoul or stay with insane murdering Erik? I'd go with Raoul even though I love Erik! I like my life.
Finally moving onto Raoul. Pick of Leroux. Please! Raoul is portayed as a bit of a fop in ALW. I don't deny that. And to some extent he is foppish. But the boy is in the navy, he's brave and he loves Christine. He risked his life to save her for God's sake. He is not an abuser, cheater, alcoholic, nymphomanic or any other fucked up way phan girls portray him. HE loves CHRISTINE and always has! He won't beat her senseless! Afterall, a nobleman would not risk his name and stature in society to be with a chorus girl if he didn't love her!
Okay sorry this is long but it had to be said. More will be added when more ideas enter my mind. Phantom is a beautiful story and the fandom should NOT be bastardized by people who have only seen ALW's movie and have no real understanding for the themes in the actual story!

Geeze, I've been super busy lately and have barely had time to breathe. In addition to working and practice, both of which consume large amounts of my time (but I'm not complaining. I love dance.) But I've just gone for an audition for a TV commerical which is about ballroom dance. We'll see how that goes. And now, since I have an agent, I have to go get headshots and whatnot. My life just keeps getting crazier!
My Latin dress is almost done yay! It's red, and is covered in fringes. It'll be completely stoned and I can pick it up on Wed. just before we leave for capital. So that should be amusing.
Still haven't found a partner besides ol' Il. And my writing is at an all time low. I've revised my play about six times and am STILL unhappy wtih it. I swear I'm half tempted to abandon the whold damn thing and just write something else. But the idea I love and the theme I love so it'll be a hard decision!

Let's see, I just finished a dance competition in Brooklyn, NY. Made the finals and came in second, so we (my coaches and I) were pretty thrilled. Now I'm getting ready for a National Competition in Chicago the end of July. I have a horrid case of writer's block which just doesn't want to go away which couldn't have come at a worse time because I'm almost done with my damned script! I told Ilya to start preparing his cheorography! lol

Currently, I'm in Disney World. Just got here today went to a show with the 'rents and am now lounging around in the room. The search for a ballroom dance partner has been unsuccessful yet again. *Sighs* Eventually though I'll find one.